Top Human League Leader Caught With Mutant

(LOS ALAMOS, DEADFALL)- In a Wasteland News exclusive, A senior official with the conservative Human League is in hot water today after being seen traveling with a female mutant companion.

Trey Shawn of the Human League (File Photo)

The Human League, known for its hard-line stance against mutants, has been aggressively campaigning in Deadfall the past two weeks.  Bloody clashes between the Human League militia and mutants are a common sight in the wasteland.  However, Trey Shawn a senior official in the human league was seen passing though Haietta with a mutant female.  The news has been prompting speculation from many in the wasteland.

Shorts, a Light Bearer mutant told WLN, “Come on, everyone knows mutants do it better.  Mr. Shawn just has a case of Mutant Fever and needed to get his gamma off.  Even [Human] Leaguers can’t resist it” Mr. Shorts flexes and kisses his bicep.

Others have been more outspoken.

“It just goes to show you that even the patriots trying to keep us humans safe from that race of mutated beasts are as corrupt as the things they are fighting. We aren’t rebuilding the world, it is just going to be overrun by mutants and dogs….if the mutants don’t eat them,” said Pheneris, an outspoken human.

Raqel the Mutant. (File Photo)

Raqel, the mutant seen traveling with Mr. Trey, only gave WLN a brief statement, “Listen, what he paid for what he got.  All I gotta say is that even Hawtsauce was better than he was. And that isn’t a compliment.”

This is not the only documented scandal of leaders of hard-line conservative groups in the wasteland.  Just late last year one of the top clergy for the Clerics of Gates (CoG) was ousted for sexual abuse claims by the cult.

Mr. Trey released a statement to WLN about the incident:

I sincerely apologize to all my constituents I have failed.  I admit I was traveling across the wastes with a mutant.  But she is not a companion.  She is traveling with me to carry all my scavenging loot.  I didn’t want to inconvenience my horse so I made the mutant whore carry all my scrap steel.  I am still one hundred percent faithful to the cause.  I am sorry.

The Human League has placed Mr. Trey on administrative leave pending an investigation of the “mutant fucking” claims.

-Justice Mendoza

Published in: on 2010/05/17 at 1:41 am  Leave a Comment  
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