(PARK CITY, KAIBAB FOREST)- Head of the Park City Parks and Recreation Department (PCPRD), Gonazz, has reportedly had his feelings hurt after a note was intercepted while teaching a classroom session about the importance of keeping the park free of boar droppings.
Around 9:15am local time a “Janitorial Technician” of the PCPRD, Ashal, was in the class and reportedly attempted to pass a note to a fellow classmate Cyn. Gonazz. The instructor for the class session saw the note being passed and asked Cyn to come up to the front of the class and read it. The class was not ready for what happened next.
Cyn first denied requests for her to read the note. Under threat of demerits under the ranger doctrine she complied with Gonazz’s requests. WLN obtained the note from Gonazz’s wastepaper basket. The note read:
“ HI CYN! OMG this class is soooooooooooo boring. Like totally shoot me in the head and take my lifenet collar off! God, Gonazz is so boring teaching this class. I’ve just been staring at his nasty ear hair. Ugh, his nose is so bulbous (EW), it looks like a prairie chicken fetus sleeping on his face! LOL! I bet even a SOF wouldn’t sleep with him! BTW LETO WRIGHT IS SOOOOO HOT! OMG! I WANT HIM! -ASHAL <3”
According to eyewitness reports, After this note was read the class allegedly erupted in laughter. Gonazz then ran out of the class room covering his face with his hands. No witnesses reported how Mr. Wright reacted to this reading however Ashal stated she was “totally embarrassed” and could “totally die”.
WLN’s calls to the Gonazz household were successful but WLN was never able to speak to him directly. An unnamed man on the phone told WLN that the PCPRD Head had “his feelings hurt” and “never wants to go to class again”.
Political Scientists from all over the wasteland are analyzing this event very carefully. Some researchers think that this may be a turning point for civilization as a whole.
“People are now becoming more questioning of authority and improving lines of communication,” said Professor Maggotface of the Traveler Historical Society. “If this trend spreads across the wasteland we will be back to a pre-fall civilization within 30 years.”
However other experts think this is a sign of society’s moral weakening.
“This hereby proves that humanity has reached a new low when people would rather socialize and gossip rather than learn about the importance of boar fecal removal techniques,” said the Founder of Vista Fecal Center Zero Gravity S.E.
PCPRD watchers are looking at this situation very closely. It is reported that the emotionally assaulted Gonazz has been seen less in public and Ashal has been seen leading more of the PCPRD crew in their beautification efforts around Park City. PCPRD watchers are speculating that Ashal may have asserted her dominance over the classroom instructor and has moved up in the hierarchy.
“This is a clear show of a transition of power within the PCPRD,” stated an article published by local periodical Wasteland Parks and Recreation Monthly. “We may see more of a ‘zero tolerance’ policy regarding loiterers and trespassers in Park City.”
Regardless of all the speculation, all eyes of the wasteland are watching these events closely to see how they unfold.