Rufio Mendoza’s Thanksgiving Radio Spectacular!

Hey Wasteland!

Don’t forget to tune into  during thanksgiving to listen to DJ Mendoza’s Thanksgiving Spectacular!

We will be broadcasting off site so contact us through our Wasteland News mail to request songs.

-Rufio Mendoza

Published in: on 2009/11/24 at 4:09 pm  Leave a Comment  

Messages on Town Bulletin Board Leaves Residents Angry

(TRADERS FLAT, KAIBAB FOREST)-  Local residents of Traders Flat have become victims of hateful messages on a local community bulletin board say authorities.

The bulletin board in Traders Flat has been used as a tool to help members of the community advertise events, try to sell goods and just general communication between people.  That all changed last week according to Arianna Flint, the bulletin board’s caretaker.

“It all started when a well known clan started advertising recruitment on the board,” said Flint. “It is nothing out of the ordinary. Clans advertise all the time on the board.”

After the flyer was posted advertising the clan, a deviant put a response to it saying, “U R NOOBS”.  Soon more messages were showing up in response to posted messages. At first these messages were just shrugged off until more of them started being posted.

The Alleged First Reply (File Photo)

In recent days more and more posts have been showing up.  The most recent post was on a girl’s Lost Dog flyer that said “QQ MOAR NUB”.    Number 1, the head of the Ominous Security Personnel at Traders Flat advises all citizens to not reply to these messages.


“It seems that when a citizen replies to these hateful messages it is like swatting a mutated wasp nest, more and more messages come out,” said Number 1. “It is important people keep their calm and composure.  We are seeing this situation degrade rapidly so we need to act quickly.  If this continues, soon citizens will start bickering against each other.”

No suspects have been named in this string of rogue messages being posted on the bulletin board.  Some speculate the Park City Parks and Recreation Department are posting these messages due to their lack of economy and boredom.  Others speculate it is just the children of Traders Flat feeling empowered by anonymity.  Others say they are one in the same.

“I can’t believe one of those [expletive] took down a post I put up a few weeks ago and reposted it to take it out of context.   Now everyone thinks I hate Light Bearers!” said a Vista resident. ” I am leaving the bulletin board, but not the wasteland.”

“Rampant hateful messages strewn across public communication platforms are one of the attributed causes of ‘The Fall’.  We do not want it to happen again.”

Published in: on 2009/11/24 at 3:48 pm  Comments (1)  

Traveler Does Not Bring Anything to Show and Tell, Receives Zero for Day

(CREDIT BEND, NORTHFIELDS)-  A Traveler Racketeer Student named Larce reportedly received a “zero” in participation points for the day in a Traveler trade school today.

Today in Mr. Maggotface’s Extortion 101 class was the normal “Show and Tell” day.  During this ancient ritual students will find an interesting item from either a crafter or the wasteland.  Students will bring these to class and display them proudly and boast about their greatness.  Everything was going as planned until Larce informed Mr. Maggotface that he did not have an item for “Show and Tell”.  Outraged,  the teacher struck the student, with a zero for a grade.

Self proclaimed law expert, Judge Rufio Mendoza, claims that the traveler student brought an Interceptor Speedster Key to the “Show and Tell” but was reluctant to present once he saw the other 20 students brought Interceptor Keys.  The Judge claims that the instructor should have just pistol whipped the student and not given them a grade demerit.


An Allegedly "Uncool" Interceptor (File Photo)

“Severe physical punishment would have sufficed in this case. Not a zero for the day in his classroom.  I cite in support Boston Traffic Code Four eight two…uhh…tango..fiver,” said Judge Mendoza.

“I don’t think it’s fair,” said Cullen, a Traveler Student. “Larce had something but he was just embarrassed to show it. No one would really even care.”

The parents of the Traveler have contacted the school about this foul grade their son received.  School officials are still investigating why Larce did not think the Interceptor was not “cool” enough for show and tell.

“We spent 30 red chips on that Interceptor for Larce.  He could at least showed it off with all the other 30 Interceptors in the class,” said Larce’s father.

Mr. Maggotface has come under scrutiny before for a similar occasion for a student bringing “Enforcer Brains” to show in tell.  The instructor failed the student citing “The [Enforcer Brain] is fake, it does not exist.”

WLN spoke with Larce about this incident and what he plans to do.

“If this is how it is gonna be then I am just gonna bring my “Trouser Meat” in class next week.  Hope the class enjoys that,” said Larce”

Calls to Mr. Maggotface and the school were not returned.

Published in: on 2009/11/12 at 10:09 pm  Leave a Comment  

Wasteland News Editor-In-Chief Completes Law School

(OILVILLE, PLATEAU)-  The Editor-In-Chief of Wasteland News has just finished his training in Law and has officially become a Judge of the wasteland.

Rufio Mendoza has completed a 1 hour lifenet online course in basic traffic court law from the Pre-Fall University of Phoenix.  This completion makes the media mogul the highest trained official in Law in the entire wasteland.  Mr. Mendoza has now officially changed his title to Judge Mendoza.


Justice Wargrave on a Motorcycle (File Photo)



Justice Wargrave used to be the highest trained official in Law in the wasteland.  Having enrolled and dropped out of a lifenet online course  dealing with real estate law.  It is rumored that Zero Gravity S.E. of the Vista Fecal Museum has also enrolled in a lifenet online pornography lecture from the University of Phoenix. The increase in wastelanders seeking higher education may mark a new renaissance of education and order in the wasteland.

When asked why he sought to become skilled in law Mr. Mendoza replied with, “There is nothing to do in Sector 3.  I was tired of sneaking into Park City to report on the PCPRD [Park City Park and Recreation Department].”

Judge Mendoza has been seen around the Plateau citing them for breaking traffic law and executing them.  Critics have been saying Mendoza has been making up laws on the spot before shooting people.

“Last time I checked, walking around without pants isn’t a violation of traffic law.  He is operating out of his jurisprudence… what does that word even mean?” said Jolt, one of Mendoza’s victims.

However, these critics have not stopped Judge Mendoza’s execution of law and children of the wasteland.

“I killed people in the wasteland anyway,” said Mendoza. “But now I can quiet all the naysayers that said I didn’t have enough experience in law to ‘legally’ execute people.”

Published in: on 2009/11/11 at 6:39 pm  Comments (2)