Report: 7500% Increase in Wasteland Eating Disorders, Experts Baffled

(Traders Flat, Kaibab Forest)-  Alarming news was released today from the Light Bearer Health Institute.  Reports show that as of October 21 there has been an explosive increase in eating disorders in the wasteland.

Dr. Zhou of the Light Bearer Health Institute is an expert on eating disorders and has been observing this alarming new trend closely.

“So far we are not quite sure what caused all these men and women to suddenly develop eating disorders,” said Dr. Zhou. “All we know now is that there are scores of men and women out in the wasteland starving themselves.  They are sick and need help.”

Anorexic and Bulimic Wastelanders (HM Images)

Anorexic and Bulimic Wastelanders (HM Images)

So far these pro-anorexia and pro-bulimic wastelanders have been seen congregating around major banking cities and have been spotted at some spots in the wasteland.  It is not known why they seem to cluster together but some experts speculate that they might be trying to organize a high fashion show.

Some wastelanders have hired counselors skilled in telepathy and have gathered food aid to help out the wastelanders with eating disorders.

“We sent out a non-combat humanitarian brigade to deliver food and counselors to a large gathering of these poor anorexics and bulimics about 12 hours ago,” said Sgt. Zahle of the Enforcer Humanitarian Society. “We haven’t heard from them since but we are sure they are working hard on helping these people.”

WLN asked some citizens of Traders Flat what is the most contributing cause to the sudden spike of eating disorders.  43% said “media outlets like Wasteland News and Post-Apoc Radio push unrealistic body images for young men and women”.  37% responded that “the very structure of society promotes being thin to get into combat teams.”  19% responded “I don’t know, I don’t care.” 1% responded “Oh my god! They are zombies! They bit me!”

Two Bulimics Perform a Fashion Show

Two Bulimics Perform a Fashion Show

The increase in eating disorders has many wastelanders concerned.  However, the tone most the wastelanders is that of sympathy.

“These poor people are so hungry that they actually tried to bite me!  They badly need our help!” said a citizen collecting food donations.

A massive candlelight vigil will be held tonight at the large eating disorder camp west of Park City.

“We can’t wait to go and help these poor souls,” said a volunteer. “ It feels good that the people of the wasteland are banding together for a good cause.”

-Rufio Mendoza

Published in: on 2009/10/22 at 2:17 pm  Comments (1)  

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  1. Here is my posted The Expert Advice On Binge Eating Disorder


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