Report: Person Shot, Killed in “PVP Zone”

(WASTE FARM, KAIBAB FOREST)- Reports from local conflict town “Waste Farm” have reports of a man being shot and killed.

“This is alarming,” said Conflict Town Expert Taelen Windchaser. “We have never heard of people being killed in these ‘PvP Zones’.”

The incident occurred around 9:00pm local time in the open warzone known as Waste Farm. The shooter in question, Zero Gravity SE, is a combatant who returned to the site of a battle to scavenge for goods in an area locals refer to as a “PvP Zone”. WLN was able to sit down with Mr. Gravity to talk about this incident.

“I was well aware of the risks,” said Mr. Gravity. “I’ve crawled to wrecked vehicles to get car radios under sniper fire before. But nothing could prepare me for what I experienced that day.” He is a seasoned combat veteran and has been wounded in battle over 100 times and reportedly has killed over 500 enemy combatants in “PvP Zones”. Around 8:50pm, Mr. Gravity was gathering materials to construct a nativity scene for an upcoming holiday celebration with his clan.

“I finally found an ‘Enforcer Joe’ action figure to be one of the Three Mutant Kings. I was looking for one to replace my last once after Ktan [clan member] stole my old one and made a necklace out of it…don’t ask.”

The next turn of events would leave even a seasoned veteran terrified.

“As I was about to put the ‘Judo-Chop Action Magnus Norman figure in my bag, I heard rusting in a bunch of bushes right behind me. At that moment a naked man lunged out of the bushes at full sprint toward me screaming ‘MAGNUS!!! IT’S MINE!!!’ I clutched my Magnus Norman figure like it was my baby. Panicked, I let out a bust from my battle rifle in his direction,” recounted Zero Gravity.

File Photo: The Attack as Seen From Mr. Gravity's Visor Cam

File Photo: The Attack as Seen From Mr. Gravity's Visor Cam

The burst from the rifle made contact with the naked attacker. The birthday suit assailant lay dead five feet away from the scavenger. “I thought it was over,” said Mr. Gravity.

“I quickly regained composure and looked at the body. In horror I saw the LifeNet collar around his neck… I knew he would be back.”

The Vista quickly radioed for nearby backup from his clan, but help was about 15 minutes away. According to his personal account, he made a run for the non-combat zone to get away from this attacker.

“There is nothing more terrifying than having a naked man who can’t be killed chasing you,” wept Mr. Gravity. “I could hear him chasing me. I was so scared.”

While Mr. Gravity was trying to escape, he allegedly encountered the naked man 12 more times, once killing the attacker with his bare hands. Eventually the attacker, identified as Tovarishch, stopped his pursuit and headed to Trader’s Flat to report his deaths to the locals. Tovarishch, still naked, started to speak in the town square calling on action against Mr. Gravity for shooting him in the war zone.

“This is appalling! People shooting each other in warzones? Next thing will be people crafting in crafting facilities. This makes me sick!” said a listening bystander.

No charges are expected to be filed against Mr. Gravity. However he has filed for a restraining order against Tovarishch.

-Rufio Mendoza

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Published in: on 2009/10/21 at 6:08 pm  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. It’s a damn pretty necklace too.


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